Fantastic Mr. Fox / Monster
I had a whole thing planned out but now it just seems stupid. Let a girl just write her heart out. C’mon.
The only way this thing is going to work is if I just write what I want. So that’s what I’m going to do. I spent a stupid amount of time this morning making a plan and thinking about “branding” and how I need to really commit to having some sort of bloggy online platform and maybe it should be about theater or maybe it should be about writing or maybe it should be about art in general or maybe it should be oh give me a break.
I like reading and writing true things. So my personal Holidailies (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Blog) goal is to just make this a place where I throw down some true things. AND SO.
Just do what I want to do. Little steps little pieces. Snap/crack.
Buried in This is Happening Now edits. I can’t quite seem to get Ophelia right and it’s driving me nuts. I’m spending too much time digging and redigging and I feel like the more I chop the worse it’s getting. Hopefully it’s all going to come together like a big slashed up puzzle in a few days. I’m so excited to have a real live hold-it-in-your-hand play published that I want it to be perfect. Realizing this is an impossibility. Realizing that perfect work is a myth. Realizing that I’m going to keep striving for it anyway. Do you realize?
Too many projects, not enough time. Enough time, though. Taking the time. Enjoying it. Needing to clean, needing to catch up, needing to stretch, needing to write, needing to edit, needing to eat, needing to shop. It’s incredibly to me that anyone ever gets anything done. So many needs! And this is me with one mouth to feed and a job that gives me ample time to wander aimlessly through my house.
Back to work now. You are incredible and kind and thank you. Smooch smooch.
How did this year just go go go?
I’m doing Holidailies (weekdays only edition). Starting right now. Sorry I’m not sorry, everybody. But I miss blogging and writing it out helps clear my head and seriously, it’s kind of dumb to be a writer in 2012 and not have any sort of online chatty presence. AND SO. WE BLOG.
November was great and focused and something I’m proud of. I’m pretty pleased by the fact that this lost year turned itself around. As I am prone to sappy end-of-the-year thoughts, I’ll assume that I’ll hit that shenanigans later and just cover November proper today.
* Indian Market, museuming, flatbread and sarsaparilla at the Autry with Elizabeth thanks to Susan’s amazing hookups! ;)
* Yummy sushi and Book of Mormon with Eva and John
* Election night pizza and beer and crying and hand-holding with Mercy
* Karyn and I seeing a crow try and commit suicide (we’re pretty sure)
* Perfect cuddly rainy weather
* Claudia’s housewarming party
* Hike with Benji and Madeline
* Creation at Boston Court with Elizabeth and Merce
* Fell Swoop Kick-Off Party at Red Rock
* Long lovely tea and chat with Susan at Figaro
* Booking tickets to NYC with Karyn for April!
* Brunch with Liz
* Wedding errands with Madeline
* Obsession with the perfection of the now-complete Brevity writers table
* Home for Thanksgiving! Mexican food with the family, then meeting up with THE AMAZING QUARTET for not-pie and pie. Always perfect. Pick it up right where we left off.
* Seeing movies with my mama
* Long perfect dinner with Rachel Clee
* Perfect drinks with Valentina Conde
* Perfect El Super Burrito with my dad
* Perfect hilarious night out with Solomon, Tane, Carter, and company
* Home is sometimes perfection
* LA rainy day spent curled up in Pat Burns’ house working on our musical. I could listen to that man play the piano for days.
* Hilarious and bizarre night out with Taylor at 4100
But November was really about the work. I’m finally writing again in a real, useful way. Progress is being made. I ate better and sang better and lived better and exercised with Karyn at least four days a week. Hiking and running and Couch-to-5k-ing. Making art go.
So I’m proud of this month. Ready to move onwards and upwards. Go team go.
You know that trick where you take a girl’s bra off, like magic? YOU’VE NEVER SEEN IT QUITE LIKE THIS.
Check out the latest from BrevityTV.com! Directed by me, Produced by Cole Taylor, written by Joe Kausch, shot by Eduardo Calderan Quintino, edited by Michael Ahrens, featuring the acting talent of Claudia Perea, Mark Forbes Harley, Jason Bonduris, and Michelle Halterman. Many bras were harmed in the making of this film.
(Seriously, this one is one of my favorites. Give it a look and a star and a comment! Don’t let those poor bras die in vain.)
October is my favorite month, and this year’s was no exception… <3
October 2012 Highlights:
Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios with Joe, Karyn, and Ryan Izay, who I hadn’t seen in far too long. Terrifying and spooky and super-fun. Great to see Karyn’s perfect lighting work in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre maze!
Attended the Best Fall Party Ever, hosted by Karyn. Best food, best company. Felt like the luckiest lady to know such incredible people. I made a cheesecake!
…And there was pumpkin carving! Mercy carved mine for me, because I have the attention span of an 8 year old. Wonder Woman FTW.
Directed Golden Contrivance for BrevityTV, which basically consisted of me hanging out with a bunch of people I really like in a bathroom for five hours. Whee!
Took my sweet kitty to the emergency vet due to him being a wussy badass, who ripped two of his claws out while chasing a stray intruder-cat.
He got cone-of-shamed.
But now he’s fine.
The Haunted Hayride with Eva and John. Super-amazing opening sequence, hilariously distressing maze, psychics and a side show act and a backwards carousel with skeleton horses. Perfect weird windy weather. Whoosh.
Downtown Flower Market and Muskatels trip with Karyn and Susan. Because sometimes? You just need to buy some motherfucking decorative gourds, motherfuckers.
After, we had the most amazing lunch ever at Cafe Figaro. Nom.
Final centerpiece result:
Awesome debate-watching / swimming / dinner / play-reading night with Merce. Super fun. One to remember. <3
Oktoberfest with Dave and friends. There was a German Andy Warhol, a ridiculous band, plates of potato-based amazingness, and the most impressive rendition of “99 Red Balloons” I’ve ever seen.
Dia de los Muertos at Hollywood Forever Cemetery with Eva and Jia-Meng! Perfect day. SO MANY PICTURES. My favorites:
Two readings (and, uh, the writing) of the new play. Excited about this one. Thankful to have such talented, supportive friends. First reading took place in my living room with Karyn, Merce, Susan, Jan, and Boston. Second was with Fell Swoop with Taylor, Karyn, Brian, Jayce, and Joel. So helpful.
Plus, I made some scary Halloween pictures on Picmonkey. Photoshop for people who don’t know how to use Photoshop. Sign me up.
You’re a slutty pumpkin. Or a slutty firework. Or a slutty deck of cards. Or a slutty quarter! How about a slutty tube of Chapstick? Yeah, sorry. This one’s a no-no. We like cute, we like clever, but we don’t like feeling dirty when we realize that you’re dressed as a hot refridgerator… and that we’re kinda into it.Fun little Halloween piece I wrote for Tibi Tonic.
Check it out here!
The Royal Tenenbaums / Love Lockdown
This is the best tumblr ever.
Sylvia Plath’s journal entry on Virginia Woolf.
I can hardly believe that the Big Ones get rejected, too!
I suppose I’ll always be over-vulnerable, slightly paranoid.
1. It’s fall it’s fall it’s fall it’s fall it’s fall and I’m so happy. Curled up in a sweatshirt on the couch. Spaghetti dinner. Mist in the morning. Bring it bring it. I’m tired of the sun and I’m ready for this season of death, ready to watch the year come to a close. Pause and begin again. Exhale, see your breath.
2. The big news, the news that churns my heart: This is Happening Now is going to be published. It’s going to be a real book you can buy. My name on the pages. I’ve got an editor and a small advance and a contract to sign. I might not love anything as much as I love books and now I have one of my very own.
And I’m so glad that this is the first one. Everybody’s name in the credits. Our little pink hearts in that little black box. That one moment that made me cry every night. Merce’s monologue of my favorite dream. The light on her just perfect. And it was always this moment for the three of us. My words and Merce’s voice and Karyn’s lights. I want to be a goat turning into a bird. I want to be a goat turning into a bird. I want to be different fron the way that I am.
3. I’m taking the rest of the year off.
Not totally, of course. I’m gonna teach a couple of classes. Keep a student or two. But for the most part: I’m done.
I can’t give all my time to something that stifles me. I sound like an asshole, but it’s true. I’ve got to glow brighter. I can’t just keep sitting in the dark wondering why I can’t see.
I have savings. It’s time to use them. Money in the bank from a year and a half ago… I’d like to think that I’ve been saving it for this moment. These months where I’m not overwhelmed with sadness, not overwhelmed with loss. These months where I’ve got stories ready. These months where the only thing I need is time.
So there we go. I’m going to live cheaply. Be frugal. Teach reasonably. Eat sensibly. Exercise regularly.
And I’m gonna write like a motherfucker.
4. Jim Gavin’s Bermuda, featured in this month’s Zoetrope, is a stunner. The kind of LA I live in.
Their squalor was carefree and strategic. The bong-water stains on the carpet, the mangled torchieres in the corner, the crumpled bags of Del Taco—all these elements helped them appear frail, lovable, and human, when in fact they were members of a band.
It was a happy time and I couldn’t wait for it to end.
5. Karyn and I have still been climbing in circles at least twice a week. Up up up those dust hills. I still have to stop, but I’m getting better. I can feel it in my legs.
Tiny Beautiful Things
1. The best way to honor who we’ve been is to become who we’re meant to be. I will keep on truckin. Thank you for the note, thank you for the reminder, thank you thank you thank you. Always.
2. Wifey and I have been hiking like little goats. Walking in circles. That big Griffith loop. It takes slightly less than two hours, and gets easier every time. I’ve come to look forward to early Tuesdays and Fridays. Put one foot in front of the other. Talk it out.
3. Booked a house in San Diego for Taylor’s birthday weekend. Oh so excited.
4. Downtown tourist day today. The Central Library and Angels Flight and dinner and the Edison. Excited. Maybe a birthday party later in the evening. Saturdays are my favorite.
5. Writing at Bon Vivant, which I am obsessed with. It’s gorgeous, within walking distance of my house, there’s never anyone here, the food is fantastic, and they don’t seem to mind me camping out all day. MASSIVE, MASSIVE improvement over Kaldi (which is within walking distance of my house but is generally terrible).
6. Hoping to get done and ready to go by 11:30 so I can hit the beach for an hour before work at 1 in Malibu. This life = not so bad.
6. My house is a disaster, but I’ll clean it tomorrow.
7. Been thinking a lot this week. Moreso than usual. YES, THAT IS A LOT OF THOUGHTS. Richard’s passing brought up a lot of feelings about that magic adolescent time. Where’s that girl now? Always a reminder to work harder and harder and harder. Life is good but there are boxes that got lost in the fire.
8. Walking around my neighborhood this morning reminded me that I really love my neighborhood.
9. Susan gave me a ton of clothes that she was getting rid of, and now I basically have a whole new wardrobe. I’d been looking for a makeover… looks like Meghan2.0 is Susan circa 2008.
11. There’s a degree to which I feel like I’m finally back after a lengthy vacation. Things are starting to feel normal again. Bossypants. Crossing my fingers that the lost year is over. Spitting words out left and right. Nothing else to go on. Time to pretend.
Today and Every Day
Write more no matter what.
Sing. Sing sing sing. Don’t waste love.
Don’t waste time.
Eat a combination of what you want and what is good for you.
Practice moderation in moderation.
Write more no matter what.
Write more no matter what.
Write more no matter what.
Try to stop comparing yourself to strangers.
Love your happy toes.
Massage your fearful heart.
Quiet the noisy brain.
Pet the cat.
Push the keys.
Light the match.
Start the fire.
Wonder What Your Boyfriend Thinks About Your Braces
Selfish weekend but I roll around and revel in it. Saturday: Killer butt-burning hike with the wifey. Walking in huge uphill circles and talking talking talking always. Have I said how grateful I am that my girl is home? Making grand plans. Went home and wrote. Took the longest shower with that perfect song on repeat. Made a perfect fancy lunch. Got the car washed, got my nails done. Purple fingers and turquoise toes with hot pink flowers at the place around the corner.
Then Chinatown Summer Nights with Eva and Joe and the artist formerly known as Mikey Soda and then Elizabeth and some of her friends. We walked around and got Chinese-Mexican fusion and watched the dragon dancers and saw a magic trick where a girl’s hand got cut off. We looked in some galleries and saw some shady alleys and then we went to a crowded sweaty red-hued bar and ordered Scorpions and I tried to get everybody to dance.
Work today, then Kay and Dave’s for a post-mortem with Elizabeth. Chicken mole quesadilla and tortilla soup and chips and salsa. Used up all my points but what. Tutoring in Malibu, driving down with the right song on the iPod and the ocean sparkling. Quickie Brevity audition. Home for a long nap and then cooking dinner in my underwear. Heading out to see some friend in some band with Karyn in an hour.
And tomorrow lunch with Eva. Tomorrow dress rehearsal for Tuesday’s reading. Even the bad things are good. And years from now when I’ve gotten what I wanted I’m gonna look back and be glad about these selfish years. I don’t have time but I have enough time. It’s just me. Learning to settle into that. It’s just me. That’s OK. It’s not gonna last. Promise.